Uncle Sal

Uncle Sal Album

Uncle Sal (the old guy in the club)

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Talkin’ ’bout my Uncle Sal. He’s my pal. Works for public transportation
Spends his day earning pay for the wife and the kids down at the station
Engine engine number nine
On the jersey transit line

In the valley of Hoboken family is broken Sal doesn’t miss a beat
Pawned away his wedding ring for some bling
And then he hits the street
Got a room by the beach
All the finest senoritas are in reach

Uncle Sal you know he is my pal
But the ladies never show him love
Checking out the young girls
He’s the old guy in the club

Reads the Kama Sutra so he can pick up tricks
Rends a red convertible so he can pick up chicks
Tries to get girls in the mood
He’s a primitive masculine dude

He’s like to meet a girl like on his Farrah Fawcett poster
He’d like to get her number on his margarita coaster
Chasing young girls ain’t no crime
With his lousy pickup lines

Uncle Sal you know he is my pal
But the ladies never show him love
Checking out the young girls
He’s the old guy in the club

Metrosexual

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My baby and I have been through many years and I am in love with her
But something’s gone amiss lately and I feel that we are in trouble
She used to love me better than the rest
Now she’s on air with Ryan Seacrest

Baby there’s no good reason for you to be leaving
Not again this time
I heard her voice on Loveline when she confessed her crime
And I think I am losing my mind

No- No- She’s been cheating on me with a metrosexual
And she’s leaving with a metrosexual
She’s been cheating with a metrosexual

He dances so well, he dances so free
He’s so secure of his sexuality
His eyebrows plucked with the greatest of care
He’s liberated by the frosted tips on his hair

Baby there’s no good reason for you to be leaving
Not again this time
I heard her voice on Loveline when she confessed her crime
And I think I am losing my mind

No- No- She’s been cheating on me with a metrosexual
And she’s leaving with a metrosexual
She’s been cheating with a metrosexual

Like Emelda Marcos he has a close full of shoes
A white blouse like a pirate and gelled hair that never moves
You know my football watching has become a bore
Now that she’s found a man who gets a pedicure

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Lyrics and Music by James Rustad © 2005